- 911: 911 What's your emergency?
- Me: The knife and- and the eyes and the axe
- 911: Has someone been stabbed in the eye? What is your location?
- Me: DEEEEAAAAANNNN
- 911: Oh god another one.
- Men: Not ALL men.
- Men to their daughters: Yes, all men. Every single one of them.
When I was a kid I thought your 20s were supposed to be fun, not filled with perpetual anxiety about financial stability and constantly feeling like an unaccomplished piece of shit.
That’s because it was fun for baby boomers and they basically gave us this impression it would always be like that, but then they ruined the economy.